


The steps we take

by ca_te



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Future Fic, M/M, Romance, canon AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-19
Updated: 2011-04-19
Packaged: 2017-10-18 09:50:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/187619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ca_te/pseuds/ca_te
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur and Merlin grow up together and along with them grows their affection for each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The steps we take

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to somerdaye for the beta! :)

Arthur pressed his back against the stony wall and held his breath. The corridors were chilly even while outside the spring sun was splashing over Camelot. He strained his ears but he couldn’t hear any footsteps. He grinned to himself thinking that he had made it again. He was about to turn the corner when a hand landed on his right shoulder. He froze on the spot, disbelieving.

“Found you!”

He turned and was met by Merlin’s wide grin. He wanted to pout, because no prince of Camelot was supposed to lose a game of hide and seek to the son of a servant, but Merlin’s smiles had always been contagious and he couldn’t help but grin back.

“You’ve been lucky.”

Merlin shrugged.

“I’d say I’ve been good.”

They walked along the corridors to Arthur’s room. It was big and cold, it had always been. It wasn’t as if his father had ever given him toys or anything. He’d had to learn how to fight and how to rule, there hadn’t been space for wooden toys or books of stories.

Once, Merlin had shown him his own house. He didn’t have a room on his own, he slept on an old mattress beside his mother’s bed, but he had a wooden dragon hidden under his pillow and a few books which Gaius had given him. Arthur had thought that he was lucky.

Merlin closed the door behind them as Arthur climbed onto his bed and lay down. He stared at the map hung on the wall. He and Merlin had drawn crosses on the places where they wanted to go when Arthur would lead soldiers and Merlin would travel with him around the land. They had never questioned that they’d be together; it came naturally to Arthur to imagine Merlin by his side in a faraway future kingdom.

“Why don’t you tell me the story of the last dragonlord again?”

Merlin sighed dramatically but climbed on the big bed beside Arthur anyway and started to speak. Arthur had always liked to listen to Merlin’s voice, since he had first met him at six years old. Merlin hadn’t been born in Camelot, he had moved there with his mother.

Sometimes he would tell Arthur what he remembered about the place where he had been born; it was called Ealdor. Arthur had always thought that one day he would take Merlin there, they would spend the day out together, riding through the countryside. He had already started teaching Merlin how to ride. He’d had to learn when he had been seven years old, but had his father’s permission to take another pony for Merlin only when he had turned eleven. He liked the happy smile on Merlin’s face when they were outside, the warm sun caressing them.

Merlin was only eleven but he was already working as apprentice in Gaius’ workshop and Arthur’s father, the king, had told Merlin that he was going to become Arthur’s manservant when they turned fifteen. Arthur had been happy of that decision and had been even happier when he had seen the grin on Merlin’s face when he had received the news.

Everything was less scary if he knew that Merlin would be there; becoming a king, guiding armies, defeating dragons.

*

It was the night of Arthur’s fourteenth birthday. The king had organised a feast and lords and ladies from all around the kingdom had arrived to wish happiness on Camelot’s only heir. Arthur was bored. He kept playing with his knife as his father talked with people whose names he had already forgotten. He wished he could be outside, under the starry sky, laughing and drinking cider with Merlin. He wasn’t serving tonight, he had a free day and he probably had gone to the May Day’s celebrations. Arthur leaned back against the chair and waited patiently until the right moment to leave the banquet arrived. When the candles were short and the wax was pooling on the floor under them he politely announced to his father that he wished to retire to his own rooms.

He indeed stopped by his rooms to change into less showy clothes but then he was running along the corridors towards a secondary exit in the left wing of the castle.

The night was fresh and the air was filled with music and voices. Arthur smiled and stretched his arms over his head. He felt as if he wanted to fly.

The peasants had built a big fire on the outskirts of town, near the woods, and beside it they had erected a pole with coloured stripes of cloth dangling all around. Arthur moved closer and let his eyes search the crowd. He spotted Gwen, the daughter of the blacksmith, as she danced around the pole with other girls. Then he spotted Merlin, sitting on the ground next to the fire, drinking from a pewter cup. The orange light of the flames splashed over his features like water, making his blue eyes shine fiercely and colouring his pale skin. Arthur swallowed, his chest suddenly too small to contain the beating of his own heart.

He moved, his feet sinking into the wet ground, and slipped through the people who were drinking, laughing, and dancing. He stopped beside Merlin and playfully ruffled his hair. The boy looked up at him, startled, but then his features relaxed and his eyes shone with mirth.

“Arthur!”

Arthur quickly brought a finger to his lips. Merlin nodded and flashed him an apologetic smile.

“Sorry. I was just glad that you managed to come!”

If all of sudden Arthur felt warm he blamed it on the closeness of the fire. And if his heart skipped a beat when Merlin got up and hugged him, well, certainly there was a logical explanation for it, even if he wasn’t bothered to find one at the moment. It felt good to be in Merlin’s company, as he had always been on his birthday. It felt good to feel the cider fresh in his mouth and to feel the gentle weight of Merlin’s shoulder against his own. He didn’t have an explanation for that, for the way having Merlin around made everything brighter, as if he was looking at the world through the bottom of a crystal glass.

The moon was about to set when they finally walked back to the city, leaning heavily against each other. The fields seemed wider, like the sea, like the sky, and Arthur looked for Merlin’s hand and squeezed it to make himself sure that his friend was there for real. Merlin didn’t ask any questions, he simply squeezed back and accompanied him up to his chambers. They stood in the doorway, facing each other.

Arthur felt something flex in between his heart and his lungs. He slowly traced the lines of Merlin’s cheekbone with his fingers. Merlin didn’t move away, he leaned slightly into the touch, as he used to do when they were kids. Arthur let his instinct guide him and he slowly leaned forward until his nose was brushing against Merlin’s. He didn’t want to look into his friend’s eyes, so he simply closed his own and tilted his head. The feeling of Merlin’s lips - wet and soft as he had never thought they could be - sent a shiver running along his spine and veins. He felt as if he was filled with lightning. Merlin’s tongue was shy and gentle against his own. Arthur tried to suffocate the moan that blossomed deep inside him but it rolled slowly from his mouth to Merlin’s. He snapped his eyes opened and took a step back. Merlin’s lips were red and his eyes as big as twin moons. Arthur felt his cheeks burning; he quickly wished Merlin good night and closed the door behind him. He leaned against the wooden surface and held his breath until he heard Merlin’s footsteps fading as he walked away.

The room was spinning when he lay down on his bed, feeling like a branch dragged by the stream, like a falling star.

It was morning when he opened his eyes. His head felt heavy as a rock. It struck him like a bolt, the thought that he had been knowing Merlin for so long. He remembered the feeling of his hand into his, of his lips and all of sudden he was scared, scared that he could lose Merlin. He turned to the side, his stomach twisting unpleasantly at the thought. He didn’t know what to do.

But once again Merlin was the one to reach out for him, to bring him back to somewhere safe. He tiptoed inside Arthur’s chambers, carrying his breakfast. Arthur swallowed hard, following him with his gaze as he moved to sit upright. Merlin put the tray down on the table and walked over to the bed, a shy smile on his lips. Arthur felt as if someone had forcefully lifted him up as Merlin gently kissed him on the cheek.

“Good morning.”

Arthur blinked, feeling almost numb, then he shook his head and smiled, feeling lighter than ever.

“Good morning, Merlin.”

*

Years had passed since that stolen first kiss, since when they had been boys growing up and learning together. There had been times when Arthur had been afraid that Merlin’s hand would slip from his own, times when he had been sure that Merlin would die, times when it had hurt too much to be in love with that skinny and beautiful boy.

It had been as if someone had stabbed him when he had discovered about Merlin’s powers, about the magic that he had carried inside all along. It had made him have doubts about what they had built between them, for them over the years. But after the anger had faded he had seen nothing but sincerity and affection in the blue disks of Merlin’s eyes and in the soft corners of his heart.

Years had passed since the first time that Arthur had made love to Merlin; the sensation had lingered at the back of Arthur’s mind and at the bottom of his blood for days, the feeling of being one with Merlin, with his gentleness and his magic.

A year had passed since his father had died and Arthur had become king of Camelot.

It had been hard. Sometimes he had almost been able to feel his bones cracking under the weight of it all, but as he had imagined when he had been a kid, Merlin had been there. More powerful and brilliant than he’d been able to imagine back then. It hadn’t been hard for Arthur to fall in love with him even more. He would do everything in his power to see Merlin’s smile, to know that he was the only one to make Merlin’s heart beat as fast as butterfly wings.

It had never been easy for him to put his feelings into words, but Merlin had been the first and only one for whom he had tried. Because when Arthur thought about him those three words shone without effort right at the centre of his mind. Even if he couldn’t let his feelings for his life-long companion out under the sun, Merlin had remained there, sharing his destiny. There were times when Arthur could almost feel the ropes which bound them together, and sometimes he wished he could have the certainty to have Merlin by his side even when their life was going to end.

*

When the time to marry Gwen came, Arthur knew that he had to do it and he knew that Merlin would understand. Still Arthur wished that he could live somewhere else, that he could simply stop being king. He wished he could live his life with the only person whom he wanted by his side.

It was the night before the marriage and Arthur was sitting awake on his bed, waiting for Merlin to come back. He smiled softly as Merlin’s voice swam into his head.

“I’m more or less there, sorry!”

Arthur leaned back against he bedpost and did as Merlin had taught him years before, when they had discovered that they were able to keep the channel opened between them thanks to Merlin’s magic and to the residual magic Arthur had inside of him since birth.

“I’ll wait here, love, don’t worry.”

At first it had been weird to call Merlin that, like pronouncing a word for the first time. It had been weird but also so perfect and Merlin had smiled so sweetly that Arthur hadn’t needed any other reason to keep calling him that.

Merlin arrived half a hour later. Arthur had fallen in a bit of a doze but he heard the door opening anyway. At first he thought that it was morning, though, the morning of the day when he would have to marry a person who didn’t hold his heart. Instead the moon was still high in the dark velvet of the sky outside his window and Merlin was undressing in front of the fireplace before padding towards the bed. Arthur gulped down a deep breath as he followed Merlin’s smooth movements. He made Arthur think of fresh water, because Merlin was just like that, full of beauty and energy. He wrapped his arms around his lover’s thin waist as soon as Merlin slid under the blankets.

“I’m here, love. I’m not going anywhere.”

Merlin’s laugh came out in small puffs of warm air ghosting over Arthur’s chest. Arthur let his fingers trail along the line of Merlin’s spine. He knew every bone and every mole of Merlin’s body and yet it still amazed him. He couldn’t stop to think that he was lucky to have such a unique creature as Merlin in his life, to hold him in his arms even if his bony lover was filled with the energy of nature and was more powerful than any other. He kissed Merlin’s hair.

“I know that you’re here.”

He took a deep breath and pulled back. He cupped Merlin’s face and kissed him gently before raising up to kneel on the mattress. Merlin blinked but mimicked him so that they were kneeling in front of each other. Arthur swallowed and pressed his hand over Merlin’s heart, which made him think of a little bird inside a cage. Merlin drew breath.

“I swear to love you through good and bad times, through life and death, Merlin.”

He knew that it wasn’t something official, that his words could never be as technically binding as the ones which Geoffrey was going to pronounce the following day, but those were the words which truly bound his heart. He watched as Merlin’s eyes grew wide and his cheeks became redder. Then all of sudden he could feel the pressure of Merlin’s magic against his open palm, pulsing and retreating as waves. It slipped along his arm, caressing it, and reached his heart, warm and soft. Arthur opened his mouth to speak but Merlin shook his head.

“I’ve loved you for so long, Arthur. You’re my love and my king. Nothing will ever change that.”

Arthur fought to breathe as Merlin’s magic sank under his skin, cupping his heart. He could physically feel the silky texture of Merlin’s affection.

When the pulsing waves retreated Arthur took Merlin’s hand and traced the lines of his palm before kissing the soft skin. He knew that from then on there was going to be a solemn promise between them, stronger and brighter than any of the kingdom’s official words.

He fell asleep with sparks of Merlin’s magic still twirling inside of him and with the thought that he might not know what destiny was going to put in front of him, but certain he could face anything knowing that Merlin had promised to always be there for him, to always give him his love.

**Author's Note:**

> For this fic I took inspiration from a fic by caitcupcake over at Lj, you can find it here: http://caitcupcake.livejournal.com/82594.html


End file.
